Why is it so taboo? To talk about our grief? Why are we expected to just have a week off work then suck it up and carry on? When will it get any easier? The less we talk about grief the less we provide a map for others navigating the same journey. Grief is something I want to have open conversations about as much as possible and I've been wanting to create a grief Circle for so many years!
I just found this post I wrote in 2019!
I think the thing that my mum was most sad about was losing time with her grandchildren. I'm so grateful that she lived long enough that they will both remember her.
Yesterday I found the last birthday card she sent me. It read 'wherever you go, whatever you do, you brighten the world by just being you!' It made me cry some more.
Grief is a funny thing that catches you when you're least expecting it! If I have learned one thing it's the importance of giving yourself space to grieve. To sit with the pain and know that we will get through it. That by sitting with it the pain can melt away because its being acknowledged. I know many of us neglect to make space to just be with ourselves, to let ourselves be and listen to our inner being and allow what we feel to be avknowledged.
I am keen to create a space for people to talk about their experiences with grief regularly, ideally an evening but more likely one morning or afternoon a week. We all experience loss in some form, it could be the loss of a pet, a family member or friend, a job, a home, our children growing older. We can even grieve for items we've had for many years and lost. It's surprising once you begin to think about it how often we experience the emotion of grief or loss. And how unprepared we are for talking about it because its a bit of a taboo. I can remember not knowing whether to mention it or not when a friend had experienced a bereavement because as a child it was never spoken openly about. Maybe they wouldn't want reminding of it and I should say anything was my assumption because it was something that wasn't spoken about openly when I was a child. Not many know how to hold space for others to sit with their grief and allow it to be, they will try to cheer us up, distract us, often taking us out and getting us drunk to forget about it is suggested but alcohol is not helpful. I remember pondering what I should be saying when someone told me they are sorry for my loss. Do I say 'That's OK?' But it's not really. Or I could say 'please don't be sorry it's not your shit?' Possibly a little rude. I settled with 'thank you' but even that felt a bit strange.
If you think you would like to have a space to talk about grief, a sharing group or grief circle please express your interest in the comments or email chat@rachelpeacock.co.uk and I'll let you know when we'll start to meet. Most likely next month at my home depending on numbers.
Grief can be a very lonely space to sit and I'd like to share the tools I have found that have helped me ride the waves when they come.
So, 5 years on, is this the time for this to finally come to fruition? I have created a regular time on a four weekly cycle for a grief circle and you can book you place.
